Have You Been Delivered? By Michael Davidson

Today was one of those days. You know the days I'm talking about, one of those days. I was woke up (I think the correct terminology is "awakened" but I type how I talk and I talk funny. Be the grammar police somewhere else) at 6:00am from the nursing home calling me. Apparently my grandma's oxygen level dropped extremely low and they sent her to the ER. - I could go into the details but I'm a rambler and its hard enough for me to stay focused as it is. And to be honest, that's a whole other issue that I could just go on and on and think bad thoughts about so we'll skip the details. I know I've shared with most of you and I'm sure most of you know by now, my granny is my mom. I lost both parents at age 2. They were murdered. My family likes to sugar coat things and tell me these stories about how great of people they were but lets be honest here, they were drug dealers. They weren't exactly the ideal mold of who God had in mind when he created man and woman. Its hard for me to deal with my granny's poor health because I'm the baby. I'm the young one the last to leave home, the one who needed her most when everyone else had moved on. I was the spoiled one. And its hard. Its probably the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in my entire life. Seeing the person who raised you and cared for you in so much pain. I understand when you're 83 you're not in the best health and everyone's name is called eventually. Its inevitable. If its not meant for her body to be healed, I know God can still heal her soul... because that's the kinda business my God is in. I got her a prayer cloth a couple weeks back and the Holy Ghost made His presence at that time and I gave it to God. I took the interpretation and I did exactly that. I gave my trouble to Him and I know He's going to take care of it. He's gonna take care of my meemaw. This morning when I got that call I went in the bathroom to brush my teeth and I felt my eyes kinda well up with tears and I stood there for a second (by the way, the best time to have a spiritual breakthrough is not with a mouthful of toothpaste.. have you ever tried just holding toothpaste in your mouth? Disgusting.) I looked in the mirror and said "I'm sorry, Lord. I told you I wouldn't worry about it. I'm sorry. I trust You." And honestly, I thought no more of it. Yeah, I said a little prayer for her, but I'm not worried about it. Because God's in control. This morning after church service, and I'll get into that in just a minute, I knelt down at my pew and I was praying for her and I kept drifting off. Don't you hate that? When you're trying to really focus on something and you keep drifting off. I never drift off in prayer. Like I said earlier its hard for me to stay focused sometimes but I have to say I don't recall a time when I've drifted off with the Lord, but this morning, in my prayer, I was. I just stopped praying, took a deep breath, and I saw my mom. In Heaven, with Jesus. & I just started crying (like I am now..) I've wondered time and time again about my parents because God promises us our family, but at the time of their death I wasn't a child of God, none of the rest of my family was.. so who did he promise her to? I don't know what all went on the night of their murder or how long that whole ordeal went on for them, but I know now. I know now, that she had time to ask for forgiveness. I know that in her last minutes of life, whatever she was going through, she found the time to go to God. She found the time to call out to Him. I've never had such a realization that hit me so hard before than the one I had this morning. It was the greatest feeling ever. I know that one of these days I'm going to be reunited with my mom, and I know that on that day, my granny is gonna be there too because God promised me my family. And He never fails. Its funny that I had that vision because one of the things our pastor was talking about in service this morning was how a lot of the times we focus on others. My brother in law is the worst for it. He is such a grudge holder and absolutely refuses to be a part of something that someone who 42 years ago way back in 3rd grade stole his pencil is a part of.... you think I'm exaggerating, and maybe I am, but I wouldn't doubt it if he seriously remembers a little boy stealing his pencil and has dreams about running him off the road when he passes him on the way to the store. Its that bad. But we're not at church for other people. We're not at church to wonder if the person sitting behind us a true Christian. We're there for us. We're there to serve and worship the Lord. I'm a very shy person. I don't like to be the center of attention and so when I find myself super focused on something, I'll kinda look away. I'm still listening, just not looking. You know what I mean? I hate that awkward eye contact. Maybe its an unknown insecurity that I need to look into, who knows. So I tend to look off. I was thinking this morning during that message. When Joey was talking about people's perception of others. A lot of the times our opinions are wrong. I wonder what people's perception of me is? Cause I'm an observer. I look around. Its kind of rude actually, I should really work on it. I remember in like 3rd grade my teacher told us once that its a sign of respect to look at the person talking to you. I don't want people to perceive me as someone who doesn't pay attention to the word of God. As someone who is just there because they feel obligated to be there.. because that's not true. This morning was a real eye opener for me. Maybe that's why I saw my mom. I had this perception of her. I guess a stereotype you could say, of people who lived her lifestyle. I never expected to meet her again, but that's not the case. I know with everything in me now, that's not the case. Don't let your perception of others cloud your judgement. Its not up to you to care about what they're doing. You're not God. Yes, be a witness. Always, be a witness, but don't mistake that for playing God. You can't save souls. You can spread the word of God but its up to them to make the first step, and only God can heal their soul. So worry about yourself. Don't worry whose where in their relationship with God. That person you see looking around at the wall and the ceiling may just be an awkward shy person who is trying his best to avoid eye contact. That lady that sold drugs to hundreds of people and had a hand in destroying the lives of many; she can change. Only God knows our hearts. Only God knows where we are and what we need. Its up to us to let Christ live through us and serve Him faithfully. Not worry about who else is doing it.